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I've had the house to myself this week for the first time in about a year. That may not sound like a big deal to some of you, but for me it's HUGE! You see, my husband and I both work from home so there is always someone at my house. Literally, always. The TV is normally on all day long as background noise (a habit we both have) and even though he's never asked me to, I put pressure on myself to "logout" at 5pm to make dinner and spend time with my family. I love being alone. As an introvert, it's how I recharge. It's something that is so important to me, which is funny because in my younger years I hated silence and equated being alone with being lonely. Now that I'm older and wiser, I realize that isn't true and those crazy ideas I had were mostly born out of insecurity and immaturity. Before my husband left for his work trip this week, I had my alone-time all planned out in my head. I was going to wake up early every morning, drink my hot tea, go for my walk, meditate, get dressed and spend the morning working on my book. I would break for lunch, work on other projects until late afternoon, and then I'd spend my evenings working on the book. I had one evening planned with girl friends coming over for dinner and wine, and one evening with my son, but the rest of the nights I would spend curating my notary-life-story into words of wisdom for you to enjoy. Here's the thing about plans....they require you to be dedicated to their execution. Ask me how many mornings I've walked or how many pages I've written. For that matter, ask me how many days I've woken up to my alarm. The answer: zero. I started to really beat myself up today about not following "the plan" for the week. Then I remembered several of the Building Authentic Relationships (BAR) calls I've hosted where I've spoken about the art of being kinder to yourself and using positive words instead of negative words when your brain starts to be a jerk. We also spoke about the true meaning of "introversion" and how it exists on a spectrum, and isn't a measure of how shy you are (or are not), but rather how you recharge your energy. Reliving these calls brought me so much relief, and (to me anyway) was proof that all the BAR call material we discuss really works when implemented. Before studying these topics for the call, I would have beaten myself up for days and made myself feel guilty for being "unproductive," but I've learned that part of being productive is having the energy to execute. Sometimes this chick just needs time and space to do nothing to recharge my energy and that is self-care. Next week, we will begin a BAR call series on what it means to be vulnerable in business. I invite all Notary Business Builders to join me on Wednesday (3/8) morning at 8am pacific/10am central/11am eastern as we discuss this very important topic. You can find a link to the call in your Tomm app/events. If you're not an NBB member you can check this amazing group out here: www.notarycoach.com/nbb

I turned 50 a few months ago. I'm not even sure how that's possible because I don't feel as mature or grown-up as I thought I would feel at this age. Remember when you were a teenager and 50 seemed so... old? At 50, my grandmother had grey hair that she had washed, curled and set once a week at the beauty parlor, wore elastic-waist pants made of polyester and played bridge with her other merry-widow friends at 50. That's not me (unless it's Thanksgiving and elastic-waist pants are necessary, but I assure you they won't be polyester). Think back to the TV show, The Golden Girls. Did you know that in 2021 with the Sex & The City reboot "And Just Like That...," Carrie Bradshaw and the gang are the same age as the cast of Golden Girls in season one of that series? I think that speaks volumes about how age is represented on TV and the progress we've made over the years when it comes to women "of a certain age". It's great to see the narrative on age changing in society, and it's especially gratifying when I look at our notary community. I see so many women working their asses off every day at their own business. Making their own rules, their own money and thriving. It's inspiring, to say the least. Even during this strange time in our industry, many of the women I am blessed to work with every day are busier than they have ever been because they are stepping up to meet the times. They are doing the hard work, not complaining about interest rates. I started my notary business at 44, and when I think back to all I've learned and all I've accomplished in the last six years it blows my mind. On days when I am extra hard on myself (and believe me, positive thinking is a skill I work on daily), I try to reflect on who I was at 44 and who I am today to see the progress I've made. I consistently realize that every day I get better and better. There is always more to learn to help us grow. And that's what's so great about being human...the journey of learning never stops! If you're a Notary Business Builder, you're already in the best place to learn the skills you need to be a successful business owner. If you're not, what are you waiting for? www.notarycoach.com/nbb

Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of the day I met my husband, Tommy. Most people celebrate the day they were married or had the official "talk" solidifying their exclusivity to each other, but we like to pay tribute to the day we met. It was the day that changed everything for us. I go into detail in my manuscript about our relationship, but I also wanted to take a little time to honor Tommy today. If you know me, you know him. We're literally always together, and while some people may think that is stressful, it's actually something I'm very proud of (mostly because after spending every day together working from home since the pandemic started we still like each other). He is the first person I go to when faced with an uncomfortable or unfamiliar situation because his advice is always spot-on. He can also make me laugh harder than anyone else on the planet, and does frequently. Tommy is the person who convinced me that becoming a business owner would be good for me. He was the one that pointed out I had a natural ability to connect with people. He believed in me like no one had before. When I doubted myself, he was there to remind me of my inner strength. Honestly, I wouldn't be in this industry if it wasn't for him pushing me to be the best version of myself and supporting me along the way. I am a better version of myself because of my husband, Tommy. So while all this mushy stuff is going to embarrass him, I wanted to take advantage of my platform to have my moment to "shout from the rooftops" how much I love and appreciate the man I met ten years ago at a bar in Grapevine, TX , and who has given me a life full of love and happiness (and two bonus kids I adore) that I never dreamed was possible.

My oldest daughter graduated from Texas State University in December. She has been working at a bar in Austin for several years to support herself while she was in school, which makes me so proud because she refuses to ask us for money. I trained her well (LOL)! Now that she has her degree, she is beginning to look for her first big girl job. We're encouraging her to look into sales positions because she has that natural sales ability. It's just part of her personality. I am also encouraging her and teaching her how to network! She has reached out to people she knows in different industries and they've all told her the same thing: you need a LinkedIn profile! Being a part of Gen Z, my daughter is very familiar with social media, but she had never set up a LinkedIn profile and in fact, knew very little about it. After checking it out she described it to me as "Facebook for business." It was kind of cool to be my age and know more about a social platform than a 24 year old! It's usually the kids that teach my husband and I how to navigate new social media platforms (they are still trying to help me understand TikTok). She's actually listening to me as I coach her through setting up her LinkedIn profile, which is miraculous because like most young adults she knows "everything!" This lesson has made me realize that I really need to brush up on my LinkedIn knowledge and skills, and I just happen to be a part of an advanced notary group that has a LinkedIn expert on it's faculty!! I am very excited to partner with the one and only Sandra Long tomorrow for a LinkedIn profile session. Much like we did with Jim Allen in January at the Google Business Profile review session, we will gather in breakout rooms to help "boost" our profiles by providing endorsements, recommendations and reviews. Of course, Sandra will provide us with the "how to" information at the top of the call. To join, you just need to have a LinkedIn profile and be a part of Notary Business Builder. This 75 minute call will begin at 1pm central/2pm eastern and 11am pacific. If you'd like information on joining the largest notary collaboration in history, visit www.notarycoach.com/nbb. We are an elite community of advanced notary entrepreneurs who are committed to building a successful business in any economy by leveraging authentic sharing technology and cultivating deeper relationships.

One of the calls I host each month as a Notary Business Builder faculty member is called Building Authentic Relationships or BAR for short. No this post isn't a story about an actual bar, but rather about this amazing call that happens twice a month and leaves me energized and full of great ideas. I look forward to my time preparing for the call and delivering the message. I get to dive deeper into topics that drive relationships with others and with ourselves. I've willingly done hours of research on how the brain affects our thinking and all the past experiences that we've had, and how that shapes our world view. It is endlessly fascinating to me how we humans can retrain our brains, and it's something I work on daily. Why, you ask would I want to "retrain my brain?" Well, if you're like me your inner dialog is a real hard core, take-no-prisoners bitch. You beat yourself up for the smallest mistakes. You doubt yourself constantly, compare your self, your life and your business to others and feel inadequate. Let me tell you, my inner voice can be downright mean and nasty. I wouldn't have the nerve to speak to anyone else in the world the way I speak to myself sometimes. So, retraining my brain is about working on slapping that inner voice upside the head and saying, "OH HELL NO" to negative self thoughts. It's a practice. It takes patience, and it takes the support of others who know what you're going through. Earlier this week on the Notary Business Builder BAR call, we talked about the proven, scientific ways to build better habits. This is research that has been around for decades. I am a big fan of Mel Robbins, the NYTimes best selling author and podcaster (www.melrobbins.com) and she released a podcast earlier this year about how humans can hack their own brains to put better habits in place. I knew instantly after hearing the show that I had to pass this knowledge on to other Notary Business Builders, and I am so glad I did because we had a fantastic discussion about how we all share the same affliction: getting stuck in the rut of a bad habit. Just seeing other people nod their head in agreement when I was talking about my nasty inner dialogue was a comfort. We got real and raw about which habits we had that we need to reframe and the little ways we've helped ourselves do that. We also accepted that better habits are the only way to get from where you are to where you want to be! You don't have to be smarter than you are right now, or richer or thinner or prettier....you need to learn how to hack your brain to learn new habits. MIND BLOWN! If you're a Notary Business Builder, you can catch the replay of Wednesday's BAR call on your NBB dashboard in the recent replays section. If you're not yet a Notary Business Builder and this kind of support and connection are something that interests you, I encourage you to check out the opportunity at www.notarycoach.com/nbb. There's nothing like it out there that you've seen before!

I am an author! I am an author! I am an author! I keep saying that to myself as I am working my way through my first book tentatively titled, "What Was I Thinking?" That's not the actual name of the book, but it is what goes through my head at least once a day as I'm dedicating more and more time to a lifelong dream of publishing a book. Telling myself, "I am an author" is my daily affirmation to convince my normally negative-leaning brain to get on board with this new adventure. Our brains are wired to lead with negative thoughts (partly as a protective mechanism), and I know most of us struggle with keeping the those thoughts at bay. I actively try to replace negativity with a reminder that I'm too hard on myself, and I deserve to live my dreams as much as the next person. I've actively retrained my brain already to understand this: I don't believe that others who have written books are smarter than I am, but I do know they have better habits. That's just step 1 and I have many others to take, but I am confident I will get there because I also know that willpower is bullshit! Willpower has nothing to do with me achieving my goal of publishing a book(s). It's just an excuse we create in our brains to attach emotion and feelings to our goals, which in turn leads to failure (and more excuses). You have to take the emotion out of creating better habits. What will work? Doing the damn hard things to create the habit of daily writing until it becomes second nature. I'll be talking about habits on my Building Authentic Relationships (BAR) call tomorrow (Wednesday, 2/15/23 at 10am central). Notary Business Builders can find the link in their Tomm app on the events calendar. I've been listening repeatedly to Mel Robbin's podcast about hacking habits, and how training a human is no different than training a dog. Seriously! You can actually teach an old dog/lady new tricks with a science-backed formula for success. I'm excited to talk more about this with you tomorrow.

I may not be celebrating Thanksgiving the way I normally do, but if I've learned anything over the last year it's how to pivot! Covid or not, there is no way I could let this time of year go by without saying THANK YOU for your support, encouragement and friendship. I realize how fortunate I am to be doing something I love to do, while making amazing friendships along the way, and for this I am truly thankful. I appreciate each and every one of you and I sincerely hope your Thanksgiving is peaceful and full of good food and love. However you celebrate, know that I will be raising a glass (of orange juice) to you!

So much has happened since my last blog post! I traveled to Modesto, CA to participate in the Notary Symposium, hosted by Laura Biewer. I hung out with the bestest of notary friends while there, laughed until my abs hurt, drank more wine and ate more cheese than is probably good for one human to ingest and created some amazing memories ....but I also got covid. FREAKING COVID! This is my first time having it, and while I am beyond grateful that it happened to me after my 4th vaccine so the symptoms are minor compared to what it would be like without vaccines, I'm also totally depleted. I came home with a list a mile long of new ideas and things to accomplish, but nothing is really getting done. My energy level is very low and keeping my eyes open has proven to be a challenge. I'm also being rather pouty about the possibility of not being able to participate in the large, fun-filled Neitzel family Thanksgiving with my extended in-laws on Thursday. I was really feeling sorry for myself this morning when I tested positive again and realized if I don't test negative in the next couple of days, I won't get to see my kids for Thanksgiving either and that's never happened before. Que the violins.... It was at that pity-party moment that I thought about my best friend, Julie. She and her parents all got covid in December of 2020. This was before the vaccine was available, and all 3 of them were hospitalized. Her Dad didn't come home. Covid took him.....and a million others who won't get to spend holidays with their families ever again. Every single one of us knows someone who died from Covid in the early days of the pandemic. My pity party quickly turned into grief, not only for Julie's Dad (who I adored), but for everyone who lost their battle with Covid.....and then miraculously, I felt the warmth of being fully grateful that my turn with it came after several rounds of vaccines so I am more protected from the severity of the virus. Things may not go the way they usually do this week, and I may not get to see the kids or my extended family for Thanksgiving. I'll likely get behind on my work, my blog posts, returning emails and phone calls, but I'm OK with it because I'm here when so many others aren't. Perspective is important, and I refuse to get down about something I can't control.

It's been a busy week. Monday was Notary Public Day, Tuesday was Election Day and today is Veteran's Day. It's a federal holiday that honors all veterans of uniformed service who served or are still serving in times of peace and war. I was curious why November 11th is the day our government chose to celebrate veterans and found this information directly on the VA website: "World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” - officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.” If you're reading this and are a veteran, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO OUR COUNTRY. I don't take our freedoms for granted and I respect you for the sacrifices you made to make sure we have them.

Part of the benefits of membership to Notary Business Builder is all the amazing ideas we share! I host a weekly call on Tuesdays where we talk about marketing our businesses, and last week we brainstormed fun ideas to promote our business or provide gratitude to our customers. I wanted to share this list with you because it's really good! And, it's more proof that Notary Business Builders are out of the box thinkers who know how to stand out! Holiday cards with a lottery scratch-off ticket and a sentiment that reads, "wishing you good fortune in the new year" Miniature succulents Homemade rum cakes Mason jar (or cellophane bag) layered hot chocolate fixings with Williams Sonoma decorative holiday marshmallows Peppermint bark Decorative dryer balls with essential oils Homemade soaps Small rosemary plant to mimic a Christmas tree Herb satchels for mulled wine or a holiday turkey Offer gift wrapping services If you're interested in exploring Notary Business Builder to see if it's right for you, just visit www.notarycoach.com/nbb for more information or to sign up. You won't regret it!